The Rodeo

{The event kicked off with some pyrotechnics that culminated with lighting the ground on fire in the shape of a cowboy hat}


We took the kids to the World’s Toughest Rodeo at Nationwide Arena last night. Greta asked if we could go after seeing a commercial for it on TV — the one that shows a monkey riding a dog.

We didn’t even make it to the monkey — we left after the bull-riders and pee-wee sheep riding contest. It was a really strange experience.

The men were out in full redneck regalia, and the women — well, I’ve never seen more big boobs on display (in both senses of the word).

When we stood up for the national anthem, the announcer started with, “Oh Father….” Suddenly, with no warning, we were in prayer.

Then they had this odd intro: “We have a lady here tonight who has been shot, torn and set on fire. She was born on the Fourth of July, and…” yadda yadda yadda. Then they unfurled a gigantic American flag from the ceiling for the national anthem.

The woman sitting next to me must have weighed 400 pounds. I’m sure she really enjoyed the joke the announcer told that went something like, “What’s the difference between your horse and your girlfriend? About 10 pounds!”

He also singled out a group of Mennonites, told some weird joke about a restaurant called Bulimia’s where the food wasn’t very good but the lines to the bathroom were long, and had a standing ovation for Duck Dynasty.

I identified more closely with the one black family we saw than I did with most of the people in the arena.

Greta enjoyed the slapstick of Hollywood, the rodeo clown. Magnus was more interested in the hockey game being played on the practice ice between arch rivals Upper Arlington and St Charles. The people-watching in the small rink was almost as good as the rodeo crowd. I saw some really nice bags and cute boots.


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