Alternate names for this blog

Recipes That 3 out of 4 Green Family Members Tolerated

My Facebook Page But With a Much Nicer UI

Pictures of My Kids Because My Mom Doesn’t Follow Me on Instagram

Quarterly Musings

Things I Wouldn’t Mind My Tween Daughter Reading

I Really Should Be Writing a Book about My Experiences in L.A. But That Seems Too Overwhelming

Beauty Purchases I’m Currently Excited About But Will Probably Cool On in a Few Months

Half-Baked Ideas for Series*

*In my defense, I didn’t finish that Sephora fragrance sampler review because all the samples smelled weird and alcohol-y and they accidentally included two of the same and shorted me the Marc Jacobs one. In case you’re wondering, though, I finally redeemed my voucher for the Elizabeth and James Nirvana Rose rollerball which I already knew I liked.

 

Scenes from summer in Ohio

      

 

   

Lots of sunshine, baseball, grilling, ice cream, fireworks and generally being outside so far this summer. Blogging this summer? Not so much (you may have noticed). When I look at the pictures above, I feel happy. What a full and blessed life.

But the day to day feels like something else. Always a strug of some kind. What are we doing for day care when the kids start back to school in a few weeks? What about this Thursday and Friday, when our summer babysitter needs the days off again? What did you spend at the store, because the DirecTV bill still hasn’t come out and we still need to sign Greta up for soccer and I still need to replace my cracked phone and grandpa’s birthday is next week. What are we making for dinner (that the kids will eat)? The state of the damp basement stresses me out. The news stresses me out.  This president stresses me out. Our dingy living room rug stresses me out. Greta wants a bedroom makeover. She’s a tween now and doesn’t like all the baby pink. Her cheap Target bedspread doesn’t lay right. Our bath towels smell like chicken soup. Magnus needs a new bike that’s suitable for a 7-year-old. Our pitiful landscaping stresses me out. Paying for the kids’ college stresses me out. How do other people afford all the shit they do? When the skin under my eyes become so hollowed? I can barely see my younger self in the mirror. Do I look like a bitter dried apricot to my kids? To my husband? Why do I still get breakouts at 43? Why haven’t I pooped in four days? When did I become so constantly worried???

I checked a blog I love the other day, Cupcakes and Cashmere, and she had a post up about her new approach to her eyebrows. Are you fucking kidding me?? Yesterday she had a post up about her toddler going off to preschool and how she “got through it.” Yes, how DO you manage?? I can’t deal with these lifestyle blogs anymore.

The other day I was at Kroger after work and the checkout lady said, How was your day? I felt tired and annoyed that so much sugary stuff had made it to the conveyor belt. I said, Fine. She said, Long one, eh? Then she shared that this was her second job. She just came from her full-time job at an insurance company. So there you go. This poor lady was probably in her late 40s and working two jobs. As my mom says, There’s always someone who has it better, and someone who has it worse.

Both my kids are healthy and beautiful and smart and hilarious and just all-around awesome. So who cares if the house hasn’t been painted in at least 10 years?

I’m lucky that my mom is still around and willing to help.  My sister is always willing to help.  I don’t see my 8-year-old eyes anymore but I can still ride my bike like a kid. We are healthy. That’s the most important thing.

How do you stay grateful and mindful of your blessings when the day to day can seem so hard?

 

 

Summer 2016

I stopped blogging around August 2016 so I missed doing my Summer Recap last year.

Want to see?

{My boys at our neighbors’ annual Derby Party — the unofficial start of summer in my book.}

{Greta at art camp}

{Weekends at the pool}

{On the white sandy beach in Destin, Florida}

{Practically front-row seats at Coldplay with my friend Michelle}

{Magnus tried his hand at baseball last summer. Safe to say, he liked it}

{Mag and I ran around Highbanks Park together}

{Love this sign we pass on the way to the pool}

{We got into it with the rest of the world}

{Greta’s soccer team}

{At a Columbus Crew game}

{Lots of tennis}

{Lots of gin drinks with St. Germain elderflower, pink grapefruit juice and sprig of rosemary}

{Amazing orangey-yellow cherry tomatoes from our garden}

The soundtrack of 43 years

When I flash back to any age over the last 43 years, the music I was listening to comes floating in like a radio station from the past. I’m in a reflective mood, okay? I still have a soft spot for all these songs.

Baby to Age 7: The early years aka the ’70s

Most of my music-listening at this age was happening inside my mom’s big silver Oldsmobile with the burgundy interior. Chance of wearing a seatbelt: 50%.

  • Sister Golden Hair Surprise by America

Ages 8 – 10: The wonder years

Rollerskating and Chinese jump rope in the driveway, Barbies in the basement and riding my purple bike with a flowered banana seat everywhere (no helmets back then). All the cool girls had a pink Huffy. I was still playing 45s which were 54 cents at Kmart. 

  • Abracadabra by Steve Miller Band
  • Magic by Olivia Newton-John
  • Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes
  • The Tide is High by Blondie

Ages 10 – 13: The tween years aka the mid-’80s

I had graduated to albums. I had Purple Rain, Men At Work, Olivia Newton-John and The Big Chill soundtrack on vinyl. Now I was riding my red 10-speed everywhere (still no helmets!), buying Sno-Cones from the Sno-Cone Boy who rode his cart around our neighborhood ringing a hand-held bell (I don’t think it rained once that summer), listening to Purple Rain endlessly, and going to the pool and then Dairy Queen with my friend Kim and her mother. I spent a lot of time in my room playing my albums and growing collection of 45s on the sweet stereo system I got for Christmas. It also had a dual cassette player. Oh snap! 

  • When Doves Cry by Prince
  • If This Is It by Huey Lewis (loved the video)
  • The Reflex by Duran Duran
  • Beat It by Michael Jackson
  • Africa by Toto
  • Heat of the Moment by Asia
  • One Night in Bangkok by Murray Head
  • Don’t You Forget About Me by Simple Minds from the Breakfast Club soundtrack
  • Pretty In Pink and Ghost in You by Psychedelic Furs
  • Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harum
  • She’s Crafty and Brass Monkey by the Beastie Boys

Ages 14 – 17:  The high school years aka the late ’80s

This was definitely a time marked by music, all on cassette, so mostly played on a Sony Walkman and then later in my Mazda 626. I was the new girl in a high school that was a quarter the size of my old one.  Wearing big hoop earrings like Jody Watley. I was discovering stuff like A Clockwork Orange, River’s Edge, Pink Floyd’s The Wall and Heathers, but also watching some mainstream stuff like 90210, L.A. Law and thirtysomethibng  Got my first jobs working the register at The Book Barn and then also bussing tables at Deja Vu Cafe during the summer. Loved both those jobs. 

  • Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd
  • Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata
  • The Killing Moon, Lips Like Sugar and Bring on the Dancing Horses by Echo and the Bunnymen
  • Cuts You Up by Peter Murphy
  • Just Like Honey by Jesus and Mary Chain
  • Blister in the Sun by Violent Femmes
  • Mandinka by Sinead O’Connor
  • True Faith by New Order
  • Hazy Shade of Winter from the Less Than Zero soundtrack
  • Within Your Reach by The Replacements from the Say Anything soundtrack
  • In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel from the Say Anything soundtrack
  • Just Can’t Get Enough and Never Let Me Down Again by Depeche Mode
  • How Soon is Now by The Smiths
  • Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division
  • everything on The Joshua Tree and Rattle & Hum by U2

Ages 17 – 21: The college years aka the early ’90s

Even though I attended Ohio State for 4.5 years, I have more memories of working at my many part-time jobs–waiting tables at The Hickory House, 55 Grille, the Estee Lauder counter–than of being in class. Looking back, it feels like I was sleep-walking. Just busy working and figuring things out. 

  • Waiting for Somebody by The Replacements from the Singles soundtrack
  • Mr. Cab Driver and Are You Gonna Go My Way? by Lenny Kravitz
  • Greatest hits of Simon & Garfunkel

Ages 22 – 26: The L.A. years

Thousands of miles away from home, I was either listening to the greatest hits of Nina Simone in my one-room apartment in West L.A. or driving all over Los Angeles in my black Toyota Celica with the broken driver’s side door but bitchin’ sound system listening to Nick Cave. Work, gym, home. Or work, film premiere or screening, home. Or on the weekends, gym, Starbucks, mall, home. Rinse. Repeat. For four years. During this time, I started to hear about mp3s. Didn’t think they’d catch on.

  • Feeling Good, Here Comes the Sun, I Want a Little Sugar in my Bowl and Sinnerman by Nina Simone
  • Everything In Its Right Place by Radiohead from the Vanilla Sky soundtrack
  • Into My Arms by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
  • I Grieve by Peter Gabriel from the City of Angels soundtrack
  • the entire Out of Sight soundtrack
  • Sara by Fleetwood Mac
  • Couldn’t Love You More by Sade

Ages 27 – 30: The coming home years aka the reckoning

Failed at 27, starting over. Reeling, I was making tons of mixed CDs using Napster. I lived at home for a year and then had a great apartment in the heart of Grandview, in the middle of cool bars and restaurants. I was back to waiting tables at a cute restaurant across the street. I’d get off around midnight, my legs sore from 8 hours of non-stop fast-walking and stress, and then stalk around my apartment drinking a cold bottle of Sierra Nevada. That beer goes straight to my legs. It’s better than Ben-Gay for sore muscles. Working at go-nowhere jobs, doing crossword puzzles and teaching Spinning classes. This was a vivid, alive time in my life. 

  • La Cienega Just Smiled by Ryan Adams
  • Essence by Lucinda Williams
  • It’s a Motherfucker by The Eels
  • California Stars by Jeff Tweedy
  • Bambaleo by the Gipsy Kings
  • King of Pain by Sting
  • Yellow by Coldplay
  • Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley
  • Lots of Moby and Pete Yorn
  • Angel by Dave Matthews Band

Ages 30 – 33: New hope years

I met my husband, bought a cute bungalow in Clintonville, found a great job. I was listening to CDs in my dream car, a black VW Cabrio convertible, and on my first Apple shuffle, a thing I wore around my neck on a shoelace when I went running. I was happy.

  • Sweet Thing by Van Morrison
  • You Can Have It All by Yo La Tengo
  • Post-Paint Boy by Stephen Malkmus
  • Jesus, Etc. by Wilco
  • Lil Wallet Picture by Richard Buckner

Ages 34 – 42: Being a mom years

Music became a lot about what I was going to sing to my baby girl and then my baby boy. And maybe what I would listen to during my more infrequent but longer runs, including a marathon and a couple halfs. And now that my daughter is 8 and prefers to play DJ, it’s really all about Taylor Swift and Meaghan Trainor. The kids also love the Beastie Boys. It’s all about iTunes now. 

  • In My Life by the Beatles
  • You’ve Got a Friend by Carole King
  • The River by Joni Mitchell
  • The Greatest by R. Kelly
  • Harvest Moon by Neil Young
  • Hey Tonight by Credence Clearwater Revival (only in warm weather)
  • everything by The National
  • everything by Sturgill Simpson
  • Call Your Girlfriend by Robyn

Age 43: The here and now years

Here’s what I’ve been listening to this summer:

  • Can’t Stop the Feeling by Justin Timberlake
  • So Much It Hurts by Nikki and the Dove
  • Play It On the Radio by Nikki and the Dove
  • Follow Me, Follow You by Genesis
  • Simple Things, Hollywood Dreams, Leaves and Waves (feat. Kacey Musgraves) by Miguel
  • Cruel Summer by Bananarama
  • Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding
  • Are You Alright? by Lucinda Williams

Double jeopardy

My #1 goal this week — my stay-at-home mom-cation — was to spend time with the kids and just be around for them. I had lunch with them in their school cafeteria. I volunteered an hour in Greta’s class. We did doctor’s appointments and teacher-parent conferences. We went to the movies yesterday. I got them on and off the bus. I was able to make dinner. These were simple pleasures. I can’t believe how awesome it was.

Second priority was to get in some exercise. Did, done, check.

I always feel, as I’m sure many people do, short on time. Always hewing to a schedule, not willing to squander one precious minute. I am crazy about my time the way some are crazy about their budget.

This week, I really noticed how good it felt not to be rushing around. The longish line at the grocery store did not send me over the edge, like it normally would. When did I become such a tightly pulled wire?

So one of the highlights of this week was being able to spontaneously sit and watch a guilty pleasure movie, Double Jeopardy. It was a hit back when Ashley Judd was at the top of her game. I love this movie. It has all the classic platitudes you could ask for. Ashley is wrongfully convicted of murdering her husband. Once she figures out she was framed, we get the montage of her pumping iron, doing sit-ups and running around the prison yard. Then miraculously, she’s out on parole with one mission: to find her son, who she hasn’t seen in at least 6 years. We get Tommy Lee Jones as a hardened parole officer with a dry sense of humor and a zero-tolerance policy. He doesn’t give second chances. But after chasing Ashley around Washington State, Colorado and New Orleans, he starts to believe Ashley is telling the truth. We get chase scenes in the French Quarter, a delicious confrontation at a masquerade ball, a sweet reunion between Ashley and her son Matty, and even a scene where Ashley tells Tommy ‘you saved my life’ and he says, out of her earshot, ‘you saved mine.’ What’s not to love?

I watched it start to finish. I didn’t text. I didn’t hop on the computer or check my email. For some, that 90 minutes would have been better spent getting a massage at the spa or having lunch with the girls. For me, it was just what my soul needed.